Expectations

ATVYou’ve had this happen, right? By the time you finally get around the seeing the movie that everyone has told you that you have absolutely got to see, you wonder what all the fuss was about. Or, a friend talks you into doing something you do not particularly think you will enjoy, and it’s way more fun than you expected. For me, this describes “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” and my first time on an all terrain vehicle, respectively. Not that good and actually rather fun.

It also describes my recent attempts to edit my first and second novels, irrespectively. I was proud of x0 when I wrote it and frankly anyone who ever finishes writing a whole entire book ought to be very proud. After I finished my second book, however, I got used to people telling me how much better it was than the first. Really? How bad was the first?

I charged ahead into the third book and the fourth one and although I liked hearing about how my writing kept improving, it also nagged at me. Finally I decided to give x0 a little clean up. Maybe I could just take out a hated adverb here and an unnecessary conjunction there and it would still be the same book, but a tad better. So I did and it helped. While I was doing it, though, I kept thinking, this isn’t so bad. It’s way better written than I expected.

from y1Naturally, it seemed like a good idea to go ahead and do y1 as well. I figured it ought to be an easy process, because it was so much better to begin with, right?

It must have been good for me to find out otherwise. I wrote that sentence? Not that the book is bad. It isn’t. It may have the best plot I have come up with yet. The problem is that as I gained confidence in my story telling abilities, my sentences seem to have become longer and more convoluted. A snip snip here and a snip snip there made a world of difference. I finished the process last week, and the fun story hasn’t changed but some of the more difficult to digest pieces of it have become bite sized. There is more punctuation. It is better now.

I did find a few gems in it that I had forgotten about and enjoyed discovering. The narrator in y1 has a bit more of a tendency to wax eloquent, and this can be both good and bad. It isn’t surprising, however. The real life people whom I admire are full of great quotes, so I should have seen that one coming.

(Read about x0 getting a makeover here. For a limited time the new x0 is available on kindle for only 99 cents and the new y1 is only 99 cents too!)

 

 

Seldom does anything bad come from dancing

d4 ad

Every so often my characters surprise me with their wisdom. I’ll be writing away, happily trying to convey some occurrence crucial to my plot, and one of them will interrupt the action with a remark that causes me to pause and wonder where that came from.

Yesterday I sent the manuscript for my fifth novel off to my editor Joel. Big happy moment. I like to give the beginning and the end one last read before I do that, and I stumbled across the scene above. The fire dancer from Kiribati, Afi, has always been wise in my mind, and here he was once again surprising me with something insightful.

It might not have struck me except for the fact that I am mildly addicted to another blog. Every day Cathryn Wellner sends me a short blurb about something that gives her hope, and most days whatever she has found gives me hope as well. Yesterday she wrote about Officer Jeff Krebs of Kansas City Missouri, a man who is a lousy dancer, but uses his poor attempts at street dancing to reach out to the generally mistrusting youth around him. Visit this post Ferguson, Missouri is not Everywhere, nor Everyone and while you are there you may wish to check out some of her other dollops of good cheer.

You can also go straight to the video of Officer Krebs dance here. It’s not particularly impressive footwork, but he lends support to Afi’s point. Good things generally come from trying to dance.

 

Who do you think you are?

unknown 1Lately I have been absorbed by the idea that each of us is less an entity and more a sort of probability cloud. Those closest to me cannot say with absolute certainty how I will behave under a certain set of circumstances. They can, however, make a good guess and they will be right more often than not.

Does not being totally predictable make me wishy-washy? Inconsistent? Or does it confirm that I am multifaceted and even intriguingly complex? It probably depends on who you ask. The fact is, none of us are the same person day in and day out. We have our moods. Wisps of memories become unexpected triggers and we say things that are rather out of character. We love papaya but for some reason cannot stand the taste of mango. Let’s face it, we are each kind of sort of a certain way, but not always, and never completely.

I like this idea of a probability cloud as it applies to all kinds of things. d4 has forced me to think hard about the future, and to speculate on the extent to which it is firmly fixed and the degree to which it is ruled by wild chaos. Neither end of the spectrum feels like truth, and I go with a universe in which order and the unexpected strive for balance. I think it has to do with the ways in which the macroscopic world mirrors the microscopic and perhaps even the telescopic as we all go whirling through space kind of sort of in a particular location, moving in a certain direction, but never absolutely so.

The other day my husband did something odd. I don’t remember what it was, partly because it is his personality to behave a little erratically. What I do remember is his response to my “what was that about?”

“I want to keep you on your toes,” he laughed. “I don’t ever want to become too predictable.” He needn’t worry, he never will. Remaining hard to predict is part of who he is. I wouldn’t expect anything else, even though maybe every once in awhile I should.

Many Paths in Costa Rica

I’ve just finished a week of qigong in Costa Rica, enjoying mountain views, fresh food, water and air, and a recharge of the practice that I began with some skepticism a year ago. Last year I came at the encouragement of an old college friend. This year I bring people of my own, hoping that they too will take to this ancient Chinese art the way that I have.

Dalai3My daughter is an avid practitioner of hatha yoga, and at first she finds the quiet simple exercises underwhelming. As the week wears on, however, she devises ways to blend her more extreme stretches with what is being taught and our instructor, or sifu, is patient with her hybrid efforts. Yes, there is a place for both in her life, she concludes, and she is glad that she has come with me.

My husband is one of the least limber people I know, and he starts the class out relieved that the exercises are relatively tame. He is also the ultimate do-it-yourself person and as I watch him in class I realize that in spite of the years he has spent as a high school teacher, he accepts instruction rather poorly. He can teach and he can collaborate, but just listen, watch and do is barely in his repertoire.

Late in the week, our sifu mentions that we need to accept that not everyone we try to include is going to embrace qigong the way that we have. He is probably talking to many people, but I feel like the comment is meant for me and is about my husband. Unfortunately, he uses a phrase that causes a visceral reaction in another whole arena. “You must accept that not everyone is ready for qigong,” he says. No, I scream back in my head. Don’t use the word ready.

Ready implies that there is only one way. As a Catholic child in a small Catholic town, I was taught that not all Christians were ready to become Catholics and we should help prepare them lest they be relegated to a lesser place in heaven. Later, evangelical Christians shook their heads at me when I argued with them about the narrowness of their faith, assuring me that I would come to believe what they did when I was ready. At least they hoped so, as they just hated the idea of my being tortured for an eternity.

I wasn’t ready for Eckankar, or ready for EST and I’m still not ready for any organized religion that asks me to accept that it offers the only way. I’m not an only kind of gal. One of my favorite quotes from Buddha is that there are many paths to the top of the mountain, and this quote alone has helped me embrace qigong.

I’m also not one to suffer in silence. At the next break I take my sifu aside, and share my discomfort. He is a very reasonable man, and a reflective one as well. After a few seconds of thought he agrees that I have a good point. During the next class the word ready is stricken from the record. “Qigong isn’t for everyone,” he corrects himself. “Others have other paths and it is good to accept that.”

Yes, it is. My husband has agreed to practice qigong for thirty days and now that he is no longer being instructed he is beginning to show a little more enthusiasm. We’ll see. Maybe this is a path he will want to walk along with me, for awhile at least. I still hope so, but if not it is okay. He needs to walk his path.  I need to walk mine. You need to walk yours. We all need to let each other get to the top of the mountain using the route that is best for us.

How do your find your path? I think that you know it in your own heart. You just have to stop and listen.

 

For more on my own personal story of my Costa Rica qigong experiences please see
1. Embracing the Yin in Costa Rica,
2. Finding Forgiveness in Costa Rica
3. Breathing Deeply in Costa Rica and
4. Animal play in Costa Rica

If you would like to know more about qigong, please visit Flowing Zen
Also please drop by the Facebook page of Dalai Lama Daily Quotes and drop off a like for the great image above.

 

It’s all about who you are

When I created Zane, a character who could alter his appearance at will, I realized that I needed to make him someone who would not be obsessed with using his special gift to merely look more attractive. He needed to be smart enough to not complicate his life by running petty scams. He needed to be shy enough not to want to draw attention to himself by showing up at parties appearing to be a celebrity.

Think Real 1How many ways could you make your life easier, or even just more interesting, if you could look like anyone? I spent a good bit of time trying to devise the possibilities that might occur to a real life shape shifter.

Then I considered the many ways that using such a talent could leave you embarrassed, without friends, or in even trouble with the law. In order to contain my story, I had to figure out reasons that Zane would chose to use his gift sparingly. I decided that, in essence, he needed to be a twenty something who was wise well beyond his years.

But does age equal wisdom? I’ve known too many people in their sixties, seventies and eighties who are obsessed with petty concerns. They may be more focused on their own back problems than they are with partying, but the focus is still on self and their grasp of the consequences of poor choices is weak. I’ve also been privileged to know a few far younger who appear to carry wisdom as part of their very nature.

One would think that more experiences, and more mistakes, would give a human more chances to learn the important lessons in life. But it doesn’t always happen that way, which makes me think that just because you are given a lot of opportunities to learn something, it doesn’t mean that you will.

Then I realized that perhaps my character Zane had an advantage in the early gaining of wisdom department. If you could look like anyone at all, wouldn’t you figure out pretty quickly that a human is not defined by what they look like, but by what they are like inside? I think you would.

(Please visit the Facebook page of Think it Real and drop off of like for the image shown here.)

Who says the end of the world can’t be fun?

good sign 4Arggghhh … this happens every time I finish a book. I forget to pay bills. I forget people’s birthdays. I forget to post on my blogs and I love writing on my blogs. (I’m okay with birthdays and not terribly fond of the bill paying). And I’ve had so many great ideas to post about here, too, over the last few weeks … but never got them down on paper.

What I did manage was to get the newer, sleeker, better version of x0 out on Kindle, repubbed as a 2nd edition in paperback, and — finally late last night — resubmitted to Smashwords where it is now part of a site-wide promotion and available for exactly no dollars and no cents. Check it out!

What I also managed to to was do get my latest and greatest love — d4 — to the point where it is only three writing days away from being done and ready to share with the first of my beta readers. I’m lost in this story. It is unlike any of the previous ones, and yet carries a connection to the novel y1 and to the organization y1 as well. Zane and his shape shifting talents make a second and crucial appearance and Toby comes out of the shadows as well to help save the world with his philosophy of economic fairness.The encouragement to be the person you were meant to be continues, but the melody is perhaps sung an octave higher or lower, with a few new interesting minor chords as well.

I promise, it will be the most enjoyable pre-apocalyptic novel you will ever read. Who says the end of the world can’t be fun?

(Please drop by Facebook and give the clever folks at This s a Good Sign a like for the great visual above.)

State pride

texas-bluebonnetsI’m struggling right now with news that members of the Texas GOP want to take a stance against the gay community. The moderates seem to want to recommend therapy for those seeking to escape from their homosexual lifestyle while the hardliners would prefer a statement that homosexuality tears at the fabric of society. Seriously?

These freedom loving folks — who so clearly do not want the government telling them how to live their lives — seem hell bent on telling about 10% of the population how to live. Is there no sense of irony in the GOP?

Today as I was looking for a post to move to this new umbrella blog, I stumbled on a video from awhile back. It reminds me that Texans of all kinds value courtesy, freedom of choice and just plain old letting others be themselves.

The Texans in this video make me proud of my home state.  I wish that more of them were helping to write the GOP platform.